Have you ever had the feeling that everything is just perfect?  Where every moment feels almost larger than life? With Guru it was like that—every single second was so precious and beautiful.

Guru loved to listen to songs when he was in the car. He would often listen to a tape or a CD of someone singing songs written by Rabindranath Tagore. One day a few disciples, including me, were driving in the car with Guru when a song by Tagore came on that Guru loved. I watched in awe as his right hand danced here and there while Guru sang the song along with the singer. It was exquisitely beautiful, with his hand just dancing in the loveliest motion.

On such occasions Guru would always get something for us to eat—like a piece of pizza, something sweet, or some other kind of snack. He would give it to us as prasad—food specially consecrated by a spiritual Master—with his own hand, which always felt like an extra-special blessing.

Guru had absolutely no need for himself. All he wanted was to give joy to us. Even on a simple car trip he always wanted to give something to us, and this was quite moving. 

One moment
With the Master
Is a soulful hope
And a fruitful promise.

Sri Chinmoy 1

• 1. Seventy-Seven Thousand Service-Trees, Part 27

In 2003, the Oscar-winning actress Helen Hunt was invited by Sri Chinmoy to be honoured for her professional successes, by being lifted overhead as part of the “Lifting Up the World with a Oneness-Heart” programme.

On the day she was lifted in 2003, I had the privilege of driving her to and from her residence in Manhattan. On the way to the lifting ceremony, she had asked me if she might have a private interview with Sri Chinmoy. I was sure that he would consent, so I took the liberty of telling her that Sri Chinmoy would be happy to do so.

Helen was a long-time meditator and understood the significance of meeting a spiritual Master. After lifting her, Sri Chinmoy invited her for a private interview in the large garden where he had outdoor meditations with his students.

After about thirty minutes, Helen came away looking very serious. She got into my car and drove back to Manhattan in complete silence. Later, when I mentioned that Helen had been totally silent, Sri Chinmoy replied, “Perhaps she took my advice seriously.”

Sri Chinmoy did not say what he and Helen had spoken about, but he said that he had given her encouragement and told her he would pray for her.

Our Divine Enterprise, Victory’s Banner Restaurant opened in Chicago on Father’s Day of 1999. When we opened, our Chicago Centre made a collective commitment to give our Guru good news every week, and gratefully, we had lots of good news to report! In general, each week our business grew and grew, and I was happy to share that with Guru.

After the tragic events of 9-11, Guru cancelled all our activities for the public. No classes, no concerts, no manifestation at all.  It was perhaps in May of 2002 when Guru said to me that he thought the time had come that he could again do a concert and requested me to plan a concert for 7000 in Chicago.

We quickly reserved the UIC Pavilion in Chicago. Apparently that window of opportunity closed because a little while later, Guru reduced the number to 4000. As Guru has said many times, “Man proposes, God disposes”. Then again later to 1500, and his last message was “Make it small. Just invite friends and family.” By then we had a healthy amount of reservations which yielded a concert at the Palmer House for about 1500-1700.

At that time, we also moved into our new Centre where we reside today. So out Guru came to visit our new Centre and restaurant, with a concert in between. He visited the restaurant in the afternoon of Aug 3 2002. As Guru walked into the restaurant, the disciples sang the Morning Prayer song to welcome him. Sitting in direct line of Guru’s vision was Ida Patterson.

Thirty-four years ago, in 1962, Ida Patterson was absolutely the first human being or truth-seeker or God-lover to see something in my eyes. She told my boss Nolini-da. One afternoon I entered into Nolini-da’s room where I used to work and Nolini-da said to me, “Look what this American lady, Ida Patterson, saw in you. This morning when she came here to speak to me, you told her that I was not available, and she saw such things in your eyes. Your eyes mesmerised her.”

I said to Nolini-da, “Ida Patterson? I do not know who she is.”

Then I became friends with her. So thirty-four years ago she saw something inside your Guru’s eyes. Thirty-four years ago she told Nolini-da her experience, and still I cherish it.

Sri Chinmoy

Guru gave his first talk in Minneapolis, where Ida lived. Famously (I believe), nobody came.

Ida Patterson had such tremendous affection for me. She knew me in the Ashram, and in December 1965 she invited me to Minneapolis to give talks. I went there to spend a week. She lived on Dupont Avenue.

My first talk in Minneapolis was a fiasco! I was supposed to give a talk on reincarnation. Ida had promised me that many, many people would come. But nobody came. She was the only listener. I gave my talk to the walls.

I remembered that one of Sri Ramakrishna’s dearest disciples, Swami Brahmananda, once gave a talk and nobody came. He said that he was so happy because he got such receptivity. He said, “The walls did not argue with me. At other times when I give talks, people ask such rubbish questions.”

In my case also, I gave my talk. Ida sat by the door the entire time with the hope that somebody would come. But nobody came.

Sri Chinmoy

Back to Guru’s visit to the restaurant. As Guru entered, hearing the Morning Prayer song being sung, Guru paused with folded hands, but immediately after it was finished, He rushed over to Ida sitting on one of our bright yellow benches.

Privately, on a piece of paper Guru drew Ida’s spiritual name, “Sukhukee—The very darling of the Divine Mother.” He called Sukantika over and told her she had 10 minutes to get it framed. Sukantika ran over to the Centre a block away, unframed another picture and inserted what Guru had given her. She succeeded in her task.

Ida was then and always very motherly towards Guru, comfortably touching his hand or shoulder. Guru was equally comfortable with Ida.

That night, Guru had a beautiful, and intimate concert at the Palmer House auditorium. This was the same location where he opened the Parliament of Religions in 1993, and the same Palmer House which served as home to Swami Vivekananda’s famous speech to the Parliament 100 years earlier.

It was a glorious weekend for all of us here in Chicago!

Clarence Clemons was a founding member of Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band, one of the most popular rock bands of all time. He was incredibly gentle and sweet, even though he was big, physically, very big. They called him the Big Man.

Clarence was introduced to meditation and to Sri Chinmoy by Grammy award-winning producer Narada Michael Walden, at a time in his life when, by his own accounts, Clarence was just drifting with no clear purpose.

Here’s how he described his first meditation experience:  “I looked at myself in the mirror and couldn’t believe what I saw. I was so clear. I was like brand-new, even my eyes were like diamonds. I started to laugh and couldn’t stop because I felt so good. I had found something. I had found peace, and that makes me a really different person.”

That day, Mokshagun wrote a note to be given to Guru. The note said, “Guru, I know you have many problems, but I would like to become one of your problems.” That note was actually Mokshagun asking to become a disciple.

Sri Chinmoy gladly accepted him as a student and embraced him as part of his spiritual family. He gave the “Big Man” the spiritual name Mokshagun, which means “Lord’s All-illuminating Liberation-Fire.” in Sri Chinmoy's native Bengali language.

In his book, Big Man: Real Life & Tall Tales, Mokshagun said that the name gave him his sense of purpose. Sri Chinmoy told him he was on earth to bring joy and light to the world and to destroy ignorance.

December 1970

December 2nd 1970 was a date that came to have supreme importance in our lives. In Glasgow it was a cold wet night, but Janani and I were heading out with some anticipation to hear a talk by a visiting spiritual teacher - Sri Chinmoy!

We knew little or nothing about Guru, but the talk, at the University’s Catholic Chaplaincy, had been advertised for some weeks, with little A5 posters around campus. The posters showed a striking photograph of the Master in meditation - we would soon come to know it as the Transcendental! In a curve around the image were the words LOVE, DEVOTION, SURRENDER, and intriguingly the lettering style was a computer font. The suggestion was that this was a teacher for the modern world, the here and now.

The poster had first been drawn to my attention by my friend and fellow writer Tom McGrath (soon-to-be Nityananda!) He had been organising events on campus, and the Philosophy Society (who were promoting Guru’s talk) had asked him to help spread the word. I remember Janani and I sitting with Nityananda and his wife Shantishri, in their kitchen, looking at the poster and saying how powerful it was. But we did not really know what to expect.

For some time I had been reading spiritual books, mainly on Zen. I had been to hear a Buddhist teacher, Rimpoche Chogyam Trungpa. I had sat with Nityananda (again in his kitchen!) chanting the Hare Krishna mantra. I was clearly seeking something - a way, a path - but what it might be I had no idea.

We came into the lecture room and were happy to see a fair number of people had turned up. Guru was standing at the back of the room in gold-yellow kurta and dhoti. He looked at us as we came in the door and I can only say I felt scanned by his gaze! I said to Janani, ‘Quite a presence,’ and we found seats near the front, next to Nityananda and Shantishri. The murmur of talk died down as Guru came to the front of the room and onto the platform where he stood a moment in silence with folded hands.

The wording on the poster had been Love, Devotion, Surrender, but the first words Guru spoke were the actual title of his talk: Divine Duty and Supreme Reward.

"God thinks of His Duty. God meditates on His Duty. Man loves his reward. Man cries for his reward…" 1

The voice was mesmerising, musical, the delivery slow and incantatory. It was like nothing I had ever heard before, and I surrendered myself to its rhythms. The talk was not a lecture in any traditional sense. Nor was it a sermon. It was a heightened spiritual discourse. It was as if Guru had entered into meditation and was channelling the words, letting them speak through him.

"In our life of realisation, duty is our divine pride, and reward is our glorious, Transcendental height." 2

I have since read the talk and found it coherent, engaging and well structured. At the time I was simply following it as best I could. At moments the words came into focus with great clarity, and I found myself thinking, That’s just right! At other times I was simply looking at Guru, letting the words wash over me, amazed at what he was radiating, his being. At one point I could see a gold light around him, but my mind tried to dismiss it as a trick of the light - my eyes must be tired, his gold robes were causing a flicker against the colour of the wall behind him. But the image persisted.

After some time - I have no idea how long - Guru was winding down, concluding.

"This is my last talk. My tour has come to an end….Yesterday I was in Ireland and today I am here in Scotland. What am I doing? I am trying with utmost sincerity to be of service to sincere seekers. Each individual has the capacity to be of service to others…" 3

He chanted AUM, powerfully, and recited a prayer from Hindu scripture. He bowed to us with folded hands, then said if there were any questions he would do his best to answer them. A few people did indeed ask questions and in his replies he mentioned his path of meditation. In what, I think, was the last question, Nityananda asked how we could find out more about that, and if we could put it into practice. Guru said, very sweetly, that if anyone was interested, they could come and see him when the meeting was over. Then he looked at his watch and said, ‘In fact the meeting is over. You can come and see me now!’ He came off the stage and went out by the side door.

I have often thought of that moment, a turning point, the resonance of that one word. Now.

There must have been a slight delay while a small side room was made available. I was aware of the Catholic Chaplain saying (with what I thought was some consternation!) that he too had seen Guru’s aura of gold light. I overheard the University’s Professor of Logic saying to one of his acolytes, ‘It’s not exactly our kind of philosophy, is it?’ (And I thought, thank God for that!)

Then it was time to decide whether to go with Guru. Nityananda and I had both been deeply impressed by Guru, could see he was the real thing. But momentarily there was some kind of resistance, the stubbornness of the male ego. What are we getting into? But while we hesitated, Janani and Shantishri were already out the door. What could we do but follow?

There had been perhaps eighty people at the talk, but just seven of us went in to the little side room.

Guru sat on a chair and we sat on the floor in a little half-circle. Again there was that sweetness as he asked us each a little about ourselves. Then he said he would meditate with us.

He gave us very simple instructions. Keep the back straight, breathe through the nose. Focus on what he called the spiritual heart, in the centre of the chest. He asked us to close our eyes and imagine a flower there at the heart centre - a rose for the men, a lotus for the women. Then he said he would meditate on each of us.

What happened then was extraordinary. There were no fireworks, nothing huge or Transcendental, simply a profound sense of lightness and peace, an opening up. We all felt it, and we knew when he was concentrating directly on us.

Later I was to read something Guru wrote:

"When you meet a genuine spiritual Master, his silent gaze will teach you how to meditate."

And that was it, exactly.

There was such a feeling of peace and light in the room. Everyone was smiling.

Guru had to leave to travel back to London and from there to his home in New York. He asked us to meditate every day and to meet together once a week as a group. He gave each of us a small Transcendental picture and told us we could meditate by concentrating on it, and he entrusted a bigger one to Nityananda to use in the group meetings.

The Master’s silent gaze…

A bright-eyed Canadian woman was accompanying Guru on his trip. We would come to know her as Alo Devi. She said we would look forward to our group meetings, like an oasis in the midst of our lives. I found it very touching. (And of course she was absolutely right!)

We said our Thank yous and Farewells and stepped out into the night.

We had found our Guru, or rather, our Guru had found us.

- Janaka Spence

• 1. > Sri Chinmoy, Beyond Within — A collection of writings 1964-1974, Agni Press, 1975.
• 2. Sri Chinmoy, AUM — Vol. 7, No. 1, 27 Aug. 1971, AUM Centre Press, 1971
• 3. Sri Chinmoy, The oneness of the Eastern heart and the Western mind, part 1, Agni Press, 2003