The second time, the second day I met Guru, Guru was talking about drugs and the importance of taking a shower and being clean.

About drugs, he said something that to me was not only significant but epic. The words that he said stay etched inside me, scripted forever inside me: “The reason why you are taking drugs is because you are looking for an experience outside of yourself and higher than yourself.”

One time Guru said to me, “I see infinitely more than I say, and I say infinitely less than I see.”

As an example of that, one time in South Africa and another time in Venezuela, the disciples were playing soccer with the local boys. Guru was there for about 20 minutes at the end of the game. He seemed very informal and casual. After the game, the local boys went away and just the disciples came around Guru. I also came close because I was there.

I was astounded because Guru proceeded to talk for about 15 or 20 minutes about how the disciples should play. He spoke about every single boy on the team. To one boy he said, “You need to go more quickly. Don’t hesitate!”

In great detail, Guru was describing what had happened in the game. To each disciple on the team, he gave specific advice on how they could improve. In general, he said that we need to play from our hearts, dynamically, but not aggressively. At the end I was so amazed because he seemed so casual as if he wasn’t watching so carefully, but he had seen every single move. He was so conscious of everything. It was a beautiful thing to watch.

Guru asked me to be Master of Ceremonies (MC) for the concert in Montreal, which turned out to be the largest Peace Concert in the world. By that time in my years on the Path, I knew that at least I should bring a necktie and a suit because you never know what Guru might ask you to do.

On the morning of the concert, someone calls me and says, “Guru wants you to be MC tonight.” Oh, wow! MC for a concert of 19,000 people in Montreal! And so, during the morning I try to prepare. What I want to say is: “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Concert of a Lifetime!”

All I need to say is Sri Chinmoy will now offer the Concert of a Lifetime. That is what our ads said, and that was one of the things that have made it successful. But I want to deliver my welcome in my best consciousness, so I try to prepare a little speech with the proper intonation and smile and everything else. And then some of my friends are saying, “Oh, you should do this, Utsahi; you should do that. Oh, it's too long; it should be shorter.”

Anyway, so I have all these tensions, but basically I just want to be calm and happy while presenting my Guru to this huge crowd of people. So I am showered and dressed in white and just about ready to go when Prabhakar says, “Utsahi, Guru wants to see you.”

Sri Chinmoy taught that spiritual growth means self-transcendence, constant expansion, always going beyond the boundaries set by our minds. To make that a concrete reality for us, he advocated long-distance running. The Sri Chinmoy Marathon Team was a pioneer in the field of ultramarathons, specially in multi-day races, such as the triple ultra (700, 1,000 and 1,300 miles) and the six and ten-day races. In 1996, the team directed an unprecedented distance: 2,700 miles. The next year, Sri Chinmoy asked the team to put on an even more astounding race of 3,100 miles! Here was a race that defied all reason; only those willing to dive deep within and draw upon on the strength of their hearts and souls could even attempt the race. Since then, every year, (with the exception of the 2020 Covid hiatus, when the race was run in Austria), a small field of warrior-runners has braved the heat and humidity of summertime New York to circle a small sidewalk loop in Queens from 6 a.m. to midnight. for a maximum of 52 days. With the crucial support of many dedicated volunteers to set up and maintain the race site, to prepare food for runners and helpers, and to provide medical assistance, the race has led to many ultra records, has won the admiration and astonishment of the world, and has demonstrated the power of soulful determination and dedication.

I think that I learnt all of my most important lessons in meditation by simply observing Guru, just by being there around him. “God does not expect you to be perfect. He just expects you to be available.” Yes, just being available was almost enough.

I tried to feel that what I saw and felt in him was also within myself. So you begin with imitation, imagining inside yourself that self-same calm, that poise, detachment, radiant peace. Then imagination becomes a slowly blossoming reality, you can feel these qualities growing inside yourself – beneath the dross of imperfections, your little divine Self remembers and stirs. Guru was a mirror – look hard and often enough and there you are, smiling back at yourself.

Guru taught us many things that are simply not found anywhere else, little secrets unique to our path. And not just taught but brought them into our consciousness as the living breath of our discipleship, drilled us over and over until each lesson had sunk in. ‘Soulfulness’ for example – where else is this found? In our singing – “Be more soulful!” In our meditations – “Please be more soulful!” Or filing slowly along in a walk-by procession – soulfulness!

To be as close as possible to the consciousness of our own soul – its sincerity, purity, humility, sweetness – and then to maintain this as long, as deeply, as often, as consciously as possible in our lives.

In April 1982, one evening Guru inquired of those present if any of us were proposing to run in the Boston Marathon, only two days away. Nobody was. Clearly disappointed, he asked whether any of us would now do so – about a dozen of us raised our hands, myself goaded into acquiescence by my impulsive friend Simahin, and we filed past our smiling Guru on the stage. I was astonished by this sudden turn of events and amazed by my own mad act of abandonment – my first entirely unintended marathon!

The next night around 9 pm we caught Guru’s old blue bus for the overnight trip and now there we were, start time for the great Boston race, untrained, unregistered and looking for an opportunity to vault over the starting area’s picket fence without officials seeing us when the gun sounded.

We flew down the hill at a fantastic pace, trailing the greatest marathoners on the planet. I cast aside all common sense in the exhilaration of these first few crazy, high-velocity miles, impervious to all misfortune. But misfortune eventually came – and at 20 miles I remember slowing to a walk and shuffling up the aptly named Heartbreak Hill, much chastened by this first experience of ‘the wall’.

Racing down our avenue of dreams, we had felt like champions, that first thrilling mile a gauntlet of cheering, rapturous crowds – but with 42 kms of America’s countryside behind me, I limped across the line in 3:20, Simahin close behind me.

During our bus ride back to Queens, Guru asked us for stories. “I am the marathon Guru,” he said to us, half-jokingly, “and all of you will have to run at least one marathon before you go to Heaven.”

Then he told us how pleased he was with the handful of runners who had accepted his challenge and how much progress we make when we run. He added that our willingness and our cheerfulness were much more important than our timing in the race.

The way my Guru Sri Chinmoy affected me, in a large sense, is how we are all affected by each other’s consciousness. When you spend time with someone who is really happy, you come away happier than you were before.

Why do we choose someone as a friend? It is because we feel reinforced by their presence. This may not be conscious, but there is an inner kinship, and you are touched by that person’s life. You feel a sense of well-being in their presence. Of course, the opposite is also true. So on a very casual basis, all of us are affected by the consciousness of those around us.

With a spiritual Master, however, it is also more than that. To be in the presence of someone whose spirituality is that powerful lifts you. You walk away spiritualised by the encounter regardless of its nature. With a spiritual Master, you try to soak in what they are constantly emitting. This is something that has stuck with me throughout the years about Sri Chinmoy. 

Dodula: I was a happy nun at my convent. I had friends and was successful in my job working with children. The institution where I worked and lived was situated by the lake with a view of the mountains. I felt like I was at the zenith of my life. No outer circumstances could have made me leave the convent.

In 1988, I was taking an advanced training course at the University of Zurich so I could serve as a therapist for children with behavioural problems. I was hoping the course would help me to serve these young people better. I was looking for teachers whose theories reflected life; however, with the majority of the professors, I did not see any correlation.

One evening after the lectures, I was on my way out when I saw a poster in the foyer that said “Introduction to Meditation.” I thought to myself, “When I studied here in my younger years, this topic was unknown. But the Bible says, ‘Try all and keep the best.’” So I decided to attend and see what the evening had to offer. The lecture was given by psychologist A.K. Beyer (whom I now know by his spiritual name of Kailash). In his case, I felt that word and deed went together. After the lecture I registered for an upcoming meditation seminar.

Gunthita: When Dodula first came to Kailash’s lecture, she was dressed in her black nun’s costume. To everybody’s surprise, she was one of the ten people who signed up for the follow-up. Kailash spoke the first evening, and I continued the remaining three evenings. Kailash told me that in case this nun continued for the entire course, I had better not speak about how to become a disciple, in order to avoid problems with the church. Sure enough, she was one of the few people who stayed until the last class.

Right from the beginning she was so open to Guru. She loved his Transcendental photograph; she said it was always smiling at her. She bought many books, which she also gave to her nun sisters and the Mother Superior. She also bought quite a few pictures of Guru and put them up in her little room.

When I was in New York, I was inspired to tell some of the experiences she had with Guru’s music and with the Transcendental picture in connection with the children she was teaching. The stories were as beautiful as fairy tales, but they were real! Guru’s only comment was: “Is she not a disciple?”

I answered: “No, Guru, she has been a Catholic sister for 27 years!” Guru just smiled compassionately at my answer.